Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Mothers Day Hints for Men 
by Robert Naseef, Ph.D.

Why is it so hard for moms to take a break? What can fathers do to help?

First of all, struggling with taking a break from maternal responsibilities is normal. This is hard for the mothers of typical children—who presumably have a little less to be preoccupied about than mothers of children who have autism and other special needs.

So feeling overwhelmed by the enormous responsibilities of motherhood is normal, but when it goes on indefinitely, it’s not healthy for a mother or her family. And fathers tend to begin feeling left out and neglected. While I frequently write about fathers, I spend a good deal of my time as a psychologist listening to mothers. Almost invariably mothers seem to be relieved when they give voice to their struggles—particularly the guilt about not doing enough or missing something they should have done or thought about.

Opening up and connecting about upsetting situations can help. On the other hand, suggesting that a mother do more to take care of herself often makes her feel worse. Listening to mothers in at Alternative Choices, we hear that this can sound like just one more thing to do. Their lists are already too long. And another thing they just aren’t getting right—even more guilt!

One mom even told me, “My life seems like one long day!”
In contrast, the average overwhelmed father seems to have less difficulty taking a break. On the other hand, he may also have trouble talking about what he cannot fix or take action about. He may shut down out of helplessness and emotional overload that he has no words for. The very same man may love his partner and children passionately; yet he may feel left out, ignored, and powerless.

This reaction offers no outlet for his partner’s feelings.
Still, most fathers admire when the mother of their children reacts like a mother lion with her cub, doing everything possible to raise their child.

So for this Mothers and Day and every day really, here’s a plan for men:
Tell your partner how much you appreciate her and everything she does for your children. Be specific about all the wonderful things she does and how hard she tries.
Don’t do something. Don’t make suggestions. Volunteer to just listen to how she feels.
Ask what you can do to make her job easier.
Gently and persistently keep asking and showing up to do stuff.

This is how to be a good man in your situation. Help her to take a breath, literally and figuratively. Let her know that she is indispensable. No one can do a better job. In the words of Oliver Wendell Holmes, “The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men—from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.”

Finally, remember the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

1 comment:

  1. Dr Itua cure my HIV, I have been a ARV Consumption for 10 years. i have been in pains until i came across Dr Itua on blogs site.I emailed him about my details of my HIV and my location i explained every thing to him and he told me that there is nothing to be scared of that he will cured me, he gave me guarantee,He ask me to pay for items fees so when i'm cured I will show gratitude I did and giving testimony of his healing herbs is what I'm going to do for the rest of you out there having HIV and other disease can see the good work of Dr Itua.I received his herbal medicine through EMS Courier service who delivered to my post office within 5 working days.Dr Itua is an honest man and I appreciate him for his good work.My GrandMa called him to appreciate him and rest of my friends did too,Is a joy to me that I'm free of taking Pills and having that fat belle is a nightmare.you will understand what i'm talking about if you have same problem I was having then not now though.I'm free and healthy Big Thanks To Dr Itua Herbal Center.I have his calendar too that he recently sent me,He Cure all kind disease Like,Cancer,Herpes,Hiv,Hepatitis B,Fibroid,Diabetes,Dercum,Copd ,and also Bring back Ex Lover Back..Here his Contact .drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Or Whats_app Number +2348149277967

    ReplyDelete